We all know at least one girl from church who dates non-christian guys, despite her heart-felt confessions at small group Bible study that she's really looking for a man of God who could be her spiritual leader. So why, you surely ask, does she repeatedly date guys who don't match the criteria? Thanks to my lovely friends Ashlee and Rachel we have come up with the top 10 reasons christian gals sometimes date non-christian guys:
10. you don't have to "court", whatever that means.
9. you know what he's after, regardless of whether or not you're willing to give it to him
8. you actually know when you're on a date
7. strangers in church won't ask you how soon the wedding will be
6. church attendance doesn't count as a date
5. breaking up doesn't include the either of the phrases "the only relationship I should be in right now is with Jesus" or "let's just see what God has in store for us"
4. you don't have to find a new church when it's over
3. he will never compare you to Proverbs 31
2. his list of qualities that he's looking for in a girlfriend doesn't include a willingness/ability to home school his future children
1. well, frankly, non-Christian guys are the ones asking
and honorable mentions go to:
notable absence of the pre-dating breakup: where one person in the friendship feels compelled to organize a DTR (define the relationship) to let the other person down easily, despite the fact that they've never been on a date together.
And,
he thinks the idea of "kissing dating goodbye" is absurd
4 comments:
This is one of those posts where I go "Hahahaha.. ouch." #6 and #4 are my favorites, (after the DTR, of course. Pre-dating breakup. Har.)
:)
I've had personal experience with most of these from the other side. I feel compelled, as a member of the Christian Guy subgroup, to offer a defense of my gender :)
For whatever reason (I blame Josh Harris) there is a huge expectation placed upon guys that any dating they do should lead to marriage. That's where the whole “courting” thing comes from: dating with intent to marry. Casual dating doesn't exist for Christian guys. The problem is, how do you know who to marry without going on a date? We're expected to just know. That's why we avoid asking girls out. It will either end in marriage (which we're usually not ready for) or a breakup (which we'd rather perform stomach surgery on ourselves than have to inflict upon you.) That's also why we do the pre-dating breakup – if we think we may have to do it eventually, better to do it now and get it over with.
But, also in defense of guys, Christian girls are way more protective of their bodies than they are of their emotions. If we try to be friends with you, it can ultimately lead to us sharing all kinds of deep emotional stuff. For girls, this creates an expectation that the relationship will progress to something more – you feel let down if it doesn't. But guys are compartmental, and we can share parts of ourselves without sharing the whole. So for us, the expectation of progress usually takes us by surprise in a way that we don't feel like we signed up for.
Wow. That was a pretty good defense, Dan.
hahaha - I am cracking up reading all of this. Good stuff! haha Love you !
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